Bloggity Blog Blog

Clearly, blogging has become difficult for me. Sometimes I feel like my thoughts go into an empty void or that I do not have a niche. I am an OK baker but nothing to go writing home about. I am not very crafty. I can take pretty good photos but nothing spectacular. So what do I have to blog about??? In a world where everyone has their blog niche. 

Sometimes, I wonder about all the people like me; trying to find their niche in this great big world. Something, anything that makes them who they are. I enjoy my job but at the same time do not want it to define who I am. We are more than our hobbies and careers, right? Now, do not misunderstand, I think blogging about crafty things and all that is completely wonderful. I enjoy reading many of those blogs and have friends who blog about those things. I am just musing over ideas of identity. 

Who am I defined as: Wife, daughter, teacher, semi blogger, world traveler wanna be..... hmm....do all of those things truly define my heart. My answer is yes and no. To an extent you can see a little piece of my heart  in each of those things. Although, I want to be defined by something more. 

Christian, that's a heavy label to carry. It carries a lot of weight from a world that sees a Christian in so many different shades. Maybe instead being defined as a Christian, I would rather be defined by love or by Jesus. I am still working through the exact ways people look at each other and somehow come up with a label. There is so much to one person we are complicated beings, full of emotion, pasts, anger, hurt, love and so much more. How can I ever define a person by a hobby or career? We need to look deeper than that. 

Till then whoever wants to read my undefined blog, come along for the journey. You never know what we may discover. 

Bonita Honduras

July 17 - 22, 2011

A couple of weeks ago I had the opportunity to go on a mission trip to Honduras with a group of people from church. We worked with a place called Mission Lazarus that truly loves people the way Christ did, meeting all of their needs. Through this trip there were moments where I gained a lot of perspective. Those moments when you remember why you are alive or what is most important. I had many of these "illuminating" moments while in Honduras.

Some of my favorite moments involved working with the kids. Their hearts are so full of love for everyone they meet and they have contentment, which is something rare in our culture. One little girl reminded me of Jesus' message  "Then the King will say, 'I'm telling the solemn truth: Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me—you did it to me." Matthew 25:40 (The Message) The girl was quiet and a bit shy. I would ask her questions in my horribly broken Spanish and would only get a shrug or a smile. The next day we colored together, she scribbled her name down in the middle of her coloring page and pointed to it. Her name was Jesus', this hit hard. Mark had just done the Bible study about Matthew 25 the night before so it quickly came to mind. Loving on this girl meant loving Jesus. It made me wonder, how often as a church do we look at people in this way? The man on the street, the person let go from their job and many others. Do we look at them and serve them like we are serving Jesus. I know that loving the broken does not always happen in my life. The girl, Jesus', reminded me of that message. I still think of her often along with all the kids my group met in Duyure. 


There were many other illuminating moments that reminded me that the purpose of life is not trying to constantly balance my budget or to have the next best thing. It is all about allowing Christ to serve others through us. And I do not think we have to go to another country to serve others, they are all around us. People who are hurting and craving love and help.

Thank you Honduras and the group I was with for reminding me of all these things. It was such a blessing to go and I hope we get to go again soon!

Confessions of a Houston Driver

Living in Houston has been somewhat of an adventure, some days I long to be anywhere else but here. Although, it has become more evident to me why God has us here for now. The one thing that drives me absolutely crazy about living in Houston  is how people drive . Anytime I have to go to the store, run errands, drive down to Katy; I dread it. People cut you off, they do not signal, they do not look at who is in the lane next to them. It truly can be mayhem. There are moments though when I find myself guilty of these traffic crimes that I detest, then I realize "Wow! I can be kind of a hypocritical driver." I complain about how others drive and I pass off the  times I do these things. 

Beyond driving I know that I am guilty of judging in general whether it be a person I do not know at all, an acquaintance or  even a friend. I try so desperately not too but at the end of the day sometimes I have those thoughts. The thoughts that seem innocent enough but consist of "Well I do not do that", "I would handle that differently", "They should not be spending money on that, when there are people starving". When I reflect on this I realize how imperfect and how far away I am from being anything like Christ. I should not be judging anyone, whether I agree or disagree with them, because I am not always living up to the things I am judging them on or I do not have the right (I am not God) Waking up to all of this multiple times, makes me deeply want Christ to change my heart, because I am not capable to not judge without Him. 

Lately...

Payton and I went to Austin for July 4th weekend and had a great time. He really does have a sweet family that has become my family through marriage. The weekend consisted of birthday presents for the kiddos, Kerbey Lane (yum), pool football, corn - hole, Apples to Apples and amazing grilled food (props to Dustin, Carly and Chad for the awesome grub). Upcoming events....I turn 24 which is hard for me to believe, time is flying. Harry Potter Deathly Hallows Part 2 at midnight!!!! Then the adventure we have been anticipating all summer, going to Honduras....I have to decided to journal while I am there, so when I get back I will post the journals and pictures. Prayers for our trip would be wonderful! 

Summer Loving

           I know I have not written in months. I am vowing to try to write every two weeks or so. To start off I finished my first year of teaching and now am officially certified. Yea! It was an amazing/challenging year, when I look back overall it was great and I learned a ton. I truly love the profession of teaching and working with the kids because thats what it truly is all about. Eventually I would still like to get my Masters in School Counseling or now I am considering other options as well, for now I am trying to take it one step at a time.
          In May, Payton and I went to Colorado for Molly's ( my sister - in - law ) high school graduation, it was a wonderful break and I thoroughly enjoyed celebrating Molly and getting to see Sam ( my sister - in - law) who is back from Kenya. I loved hearing her stories and it made me crave doing mission work again. Payton and I are very fortunate to be going to Honduras this summer to serve at Mission Lazarus. We are both looking forward to the trip and the journey before we get there.
         Right now Payton and I are being stretched and learning more about what living for the gospel truly means. In our small groups we have been praying about what it means to live radically. It has truly been a growing experience and sometimes there have been growing pains. We are learning to trust God and to take everything step by step. We ultimately do not want to limit what Christ can do in our lives and through our lives.
          Here is the website for Mission Lazarus,  who I have learned are building a mission in Haiti as well which I am thrilled to read more about. http://www.missionlazarus.org 
         I am loving the summer and know it is only the beginning of a short but exciting adventure. Payton and I are both working part time jobs as well, I am working at the Gap and he is working at Studio Movie Grille. I know there will be much more to come from this blog. I am determined to stay on top of it.


Here are a few pictures from Colorado: 

Beautiful Rocky Mountains.

             

The Life of Mr. and Mrs Payton Bartee

        A couple of days ago I received a text from my new sister-in-law, Danyel Barnett, exclaiming how I needed to blog and had it been forever since my last one. Well, I thought about it and I decided to create an entirely new blog about our married life. I have watched and seen other people do this and I like the idea. I also think though that I will continue to write blogs about the random thoughts in my brain, whether, mystical, spiritual, intellectual or just plain silly, I will still write about my little observations about life. I have always like the idea of blogs sharing your thoughts, lives, pictures with other. I feel as though it has a different classiness that other sites like Facebook might not. Although, I love Facebook. Anyways I digress....
    
           Tomorrow it will be a month since Payton and I have been married and it has been a wonderful month so far! Everything went well with the wedding and I have to say I am so thankful and have a great appreciation for my family and friends. Without them the wedding would not have been as amazing as it was. Everything went well, from the flowers, to the food, to the exit but mainly I just loved the fact that I was finally married to my love and best friend Payton, that to me was the best part.
    
           Payton and I get asked a lot, how do you like marriage? Or is it so different? The more I have thought about these questions the more I realize that in all reality it is not so different. Let me clarify that last statement: It is different but I do not feel like I have jumped into an alternate reality. I think it was just natural and oh so easy. Payton and I had literally every different kind of talk you could possibly have before marriage and I think we were prepared. More so I feel blessed to be around him all the time, I love waking up and knowing he is there and going to bed and seeing him. So all in all I am loving it, which I think is how it is supposed to be, it was a natural and wonderful step for the two of us.
      
           I am still teaching fourth grade and I love it, the more I teach the more I enjoy it. In my heart of hearts part of me would still love to do some form of counseling or maybe school counseling eventually. But I really do love being a teacher! Payton goes back to school on Wednesday and I am not sure if he is uber excited or not.
      
                Life all in all is wonderful, we are really involved with our life group at church and have found after our group meets to be praying, thinking and hoping for some of the thoughts to be lived out through our lives. I think that is why I titled this blog what I did, there have been times when I have heard the expression"Living between the lines" but I like the idea of "loving between the lines". To live a life of love in every state and place in life, to love the way Christ loved us. I think this is what Payton and I desire to see in our marriage everyday! So this is the introduction to this blog, I will do my best to write at least once a week if not more. Many blessings! And Happy Birthday DAD!